"Finding and Loving Your Beauty"

Tonight I got to hear Stephanie Nielson speak (of NieNieDialogues.blogspot.com) and she was amazing! Hundreds of women showed up and all crammed into the BYU Ballroom in the Wilkinson Center. It was such a touching story to hear of her experience. Although I struggle with self-esteem as much as the next girl, some of the things she said really hit me because I have felt exactly like that at times. When she was trying to figure out what she would look like she had to tell herself, "I am not my body." When I wake up in pain, go through my day in pain, and go to sleep in pain, I tend to let my pains define who I am. Stephanie Nielson helped me remember that my body doesn't define who I am. I have a personality, skills, strengths, and talents underneath all my pains that make me who I really am. I also really connected to what she said when told us how she felt. She said, "I felt inadequate as a mother, as a women, and as a human being." That was putting exactly how i often feel into words. So often i feel like i will be an inadequate mother and wife because of the limitations i have living with chronic pain. How am i supposed to take care of a child when i can barely take care of myself? It is hard to imagine picking up a crying baby when my joints are on fire, or not being able to console a crying child when my head feels like it is about to burst but i have to remember how many things i have accomplished that i never thought would be possible and being a mother will be the greatest accomplishment of my life. I have gotten through 5 years of college and gotten As and Bs. I am about to get my degree in Exercise and Wellness and have learned so much about ways to help my situation and ways to help others. I am happily married (this is one i never thought would be possible) and have such an amazing husband who does more for me than i could have asked for. I have worked for LDS Philanthropies for over 2 years and have hardly missed because of my health problems. Stephanie Nielson's talk was titled "Finding and Loving Your Beauty" and that is what i have done in a way. Although i get caught up thinking i am no good because i can't do the things my friends do, what other mothers/wives do at my age, etc, i have accomplished so much and this makes my Heavenly Father smile. He is proud of me. I am proud of myself. That is a beautiful thing.

If you haven't ever seen this video the LDS church made about Stephanie Nielson, I HIGHLY recommend it. So touching and inspiring.