reminded by regina

I love music. it can change your mood (whether better or worse).
This one line in this one song reminded me that i have a perfect body.
even if it hurts and i feel like it doesn't function properly sometimes.

"I've got a perfect body, but sometimes i forget,

I've got a perfect body 'cause my eyelashes catch my sweat, yes they do.

Yes they do. "

I'm sure if i worked out enough to sweat, my eyelashes would catch it.
because that is how well my body is designed.
Thank you Regina Spektor for reminding me. 

 

 

the end of this chapter

I will be done with school in about a month and i can't believe it. I have seriously had some hard times getting through my college classes but somehow i have done it and with decent grades too. I have had some incomplete grades and had to spend a summer finishing a class (thank you gall-stones for coming during finals week of freshman year) and i have struggled to teach myself an entire semester of material after missing so much class. But i have done it. I am proud of myself. There are things i wish i could change, but never the less i am proud. I couldn't have done it without amazing teachers who have been willing to work with me. My favorite classes have been my major classes these past semesters and i really am going to miss going to class because i love learning. I am not going to miss papers, homework, or tests AT ALL though. 

I have also learned a lot about myself these past 5 years. First: I have learned it is ok to ask for help.I am a procrastinator. There is no denying that. So when i procrastinate writing a paper until the week before it is due and then get hit with some major flare-ups, i have set myself up for stress and seriously consider giving up. This happens every midterm season and every finals week. Without fail. I have also learned it is ok to ask for help from my husband or my family. My mom is amazing. what more can i say? She helped me get through some really stressful times and even helped me write a paper during the worst 2 weeks of my entire education.

Second: I have learned i don't handle stress well. While this sounds like a negative thing, once i discovered this i was able to avoid making things worse. For example, I knew getting married in the middle of the semester was never something i could do. That is why i told Cisco "I am not getting married until May, propose accordingly"....So he proposed in October :). I am also probably not one of those girls that could have a baby in the middle of the semester on a Friday and be back in class Monday morning. No joke i have had this happen in several of my classes. Love BYU.

Third: giving up is never the answer. I went through some really rough times the past 5 years. I had some low times with physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. but i learned that throwing in the towel in any of these areas is never the answer. I have to work to keep my physical health. I have to work to keep myself positive. I have to work to maintain my spirituality and remember that trials don't last forever (even though it sure seems like it sometimes) and that I have this trial for a reason. Honestly, I have been that person saying "why me??" and it is more frequent than i would like to admit. 
Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, i could go on all day with things i have learned. But the one thing that is my bright side through all of my health problems, is the fact that i have the gospel. When i have tried to deal with these problems on my own (usually in frustration), life is not possible for me. The only way i have gotten through any of this is by having the gospel in my life. I have a strong church community to rely on. I have scriptures and prophets to get answers from. I have the knowledge of the Atonement and that our Savior not only suffered for every person's sins, but he felt every pain. He knows what it is like when my muscles hurt so bad i can't walk. He knows the pain of my headaches that never go away. He knows what it feels like when my joints hurt so bad and i cry in frustration on the mornings when i can't open my prescription bottles or makeup. He knows. And that knowledge helps me get through the day. 

I want to take full advantage of the amazing opportunities i have and really live my life to its fullest. 
That's it for now.